Zombie Shopping and Dumbass Discounts

Ooooh, shopping and discounts – the highlights of a zombie-life, and some of the most disgusting things you can think of – if you still have just a tiny part of your own consciousness left.


First off, lets talk about shopping. Shopping is probably the most stupid thing ever invented. Basically, shopping means that you walk around and SEARCH for stuff you can spend your money on.

Do I need to explain why this is stupid?

When people go out and do their shopping shit, they dont even know what to look for. They are not in the city because they need a certain thing. They just wander around, stumble upon shit and think “Oh, that might also be cool to have as well” and then they but something completely unneccessary, which they had never needed or wanted before they saw it sitting on that shiny shelf with a luring discount-tag on.


And discounts? Let’s talk about them, because everyone apparently does. All year around. People constantly talk about discounts, rebates, half-price and “good deals”. There isn’t one day, where I dont overhear someone talk about the discount price of something or how much money they saved on their new bag.

“These pants were $400 before, and now they’re only $200 – what a bargain!”.

Guess what? No its not a good deal.

The thing about discounts is – discounts doesn’t matter.

ALL that matters is the FINAL PRICE that you pay for the product.

But people dont think like this. People look at how much they “save”, or how much the products (fake) before-price was. And they are tricked by these marketing tricks, that work so well in our consumer society. Why?

Because then they can tell their friends: “These pair of pants were $400 but I got them for $200” – with emphasis on the first price. Of course the friends will be astonished and reply “Wow – you really saved some money there!”

Whereas I would say: “No, that purchase was really stupid”.

First off, you probably didnt need that pair of paints, because you’re already wearing some right now and most likely you also have several at home.

Secondly, even if you had worn your current pants for 5 years, and was forced to buy new ones because they were starting to rip everywhere, $200 is still too much for a pair of pants!

Actually, this happened to me in 2013 where my beloved black pants gave up at a particularly intense salsa session after 5 years of loyal service. I bought a new pair, but for $50 – not $200 !

Black Pants
You will always be remembered for your endurance. Especially considering how many times you were ripped off by impatient horny youngsters.
Rest in peace

When you buy something (which you should of course do as rarely as possible in general) look at the final price you have to pay for the product. IGNORE whatever fuckin percentage of “discount” you get. Discounts doesnt matter. A discount is just a fuckin hypothetical irrelevant number!

I could tell you that this article had a price of $100 but that you will get it for free – it doesnt make this article any better! All that matters is the price you pay for the article: Nothing, except for a bit of your time. Hopefully it’s worth it.

Remember this:

Never go shopping. Only buy something when you really need it. Make your search quick, find what you need at a decent price, and buy it.

And secondly – discounts doesn’t matter. All that matters is the final price.

Now, since repetition is the mother of all learning, let me just summarize the main points once again to really bash them into your head:

The worth and value of a product is not determined by its price, nor its discount or its before-price. All a product is worth is the difference it makes to you. A shirt or a pair of pants are just pieces of clothing – regardless if the before price was $200 or there is 80% discount. In other words, if you pay more than 10-18$ for a shirt, you are not too smart. Or you are rich as fuck, in which case you can do whatever the fuck you want.

Oh, and regarding discounts. remember that while there might be an 50% or 80% on an item, the way to save the most money, is not to buy it at all.
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